The 8 to 1 Rule

Business studies show that there is an average of 8 negative complaints to every 1 compliment.  This is known as "the 8 to 1 Rule". 

It tends to be human nature to complain. Sometimes complaints are constructive.  You want to let a restaurant know if you have gotten sick eating there.  You want a store to know if they have a rude employee.   But complaining just to complain is never helpful.  Negativity has a lot of power.

If you criticize a young artist, even in the area of "helping", you might just stop that young one's art forever.  Without intending to, you have silenced that artist's voice.  Where's the benefit in that?  

I once hear a story of a young artist who painted the mountains in his art class a maroon color.  His art teacher, of course, told him that mountains were not maroon.  They were green or brown or snow capped.  That "help" from the teacher stopped his painting.  Years later in New Mexico, he was sitting with a friend watching a sunset reflect along the mountain range.  Guess what color they turned out to be at one point.  That's right - maroon.

When you are trying something new creatively, you will find that you are sensitive to other's comments.  You may have created a wonderful arrangement of things and with one well intended statement from a friend or family member; you now doubt your creation and your ability.

These well intended statements are real sneaky in form.  They may start out with words such as "Don't you think it would be better if...." or "Maybe you should do this or that" or "Have you thought about...”   Often times you have not asked for a critique, or advice, or suggestions.  You have just shown what you have created.

Sometimes you may even find someone who takes the complaint into action and may add some color here or there or rearrange this piece and that piece or rewrites your essay or poem.  Now these folks do not see what they have said or done as criticism or a complaints or even negative.  They are just trying to help.  They want you to succeed and for your creation to look wonderful. 

They just don't see that their help has undermined what you have done.  They can't see your creation from your eyes.  They just see how they would do it.  They didn't see how much you worked on it with possibly sweat and tears.  They may not understand how much your creation is part of you.  To them, it is just an arrangement of things, be they words, colors, or knickknacks.

As you explore your creativity, be sensitive to the creativity and creations of others.  Change your "8 to 1 rule" to be 8 compliments to every 1 complaint.  Don't offer suggestions.  Find something positive to say about it:  "Oh, that is so you." or "I like this or that." or "I would love to see maroon mountains." (you might get an offer of a trip to New Mexico for that one). 

And for goodness sake, don't break one of my mother's rules: "If it is not yours, leave it where it is."  Don't add paint or correct grammar or move one piece of anything.  It is not your creation; so show it the respect you would want your art to receive.

© 2017 – Cheryl Fillion